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Finally, Joshua Jesty is Famous, all the Hits: Volume 15

(right click on titles and "save as" to bring them to your computer and begin cherishing them forever)

1. the Masters Back

2. the River Curves

3. She Changed (to feel good)

4. Aftertaste

5. Stephanie

6. Ms. Closed Off

7. Make You

8. the Birthday Song

9. this Town is Quicksand

10. if you let me in

11. Bad German Techno

12. Awhile

13. Junk your Head

14. Turf the Lawn

15. Who am I

16. Monday up in Flames

17. the one Inside your Head

18. Get to You

19. that's when She Smiles

20. Bump

21. Goodnight in E Major

*all songs written by Joshua Jesty 2001-2006 published by "I'm not in here" publishing ASCAP.

*note: if you're having trouble downloading the music or would prefer a hard copy of the record contact me via email here (joshua@thisisexploding.com) and tell me where you'd like the CD sent

downloadable artwork

Pay for the Record?

alright, we're well aware of all the P2P'ing that's going down these days in the music world. Thing is, I really like the idea of P2P a lot. I mean a lot. It's not that I want music for free so I can just have it sit dormant on my computer. It's more that I want to discover new music and determine if I see any value in it. That's what I'd like you to do with this collection of songs. Download it, listen to it, tell me if you like it, tell your friends about it if you think they'd be into it.

If you're so inclined, I'd appreciate it if you'd consider doing one of the following if you see value in it.

a. send the amount of money you feel this record (or just a few songs if you only liked a few) is worth to the following address

Finally, Joshua Jesty is paid

p.o. box 38008

olmsted falls, oh, 44138

(make checks out to "Joshua Jesty")

b. send the amount of money you feel this is worth to my pay pal account my clicking here

c. if you're broke as sin, then please forward this page to the amount of people you think it's worth (ex. if you think this record is worth $10, send it out to 10 people)

d. send money to a charity of your choosing for what you think this record is worth and tell me about it (joshua@thisisexploding.com)

About the Record

"Finally Joshua Jesty is Famous: all the hits, Volume 15" has been a long time coming. Recorded over the course of 6 years, compiled, scratched, compiled again, scratched again, and on and on until Joshua finally realized that it was time to put something out so he could justify all the time he spent holed up in his room (where his studio is) for the past several years.

the record goes all over the place, with plenty of focused recordings featuring various line ups of friends who played with him in both his Boston based band "Love Scream" and his current rock ensemble "this is exploding" to more experimental late night recordings, where drum samplers, furniture, broken guitars, and anything else that happens to be in the room is fair game for sonic experimentation.

"Finally...." is not the type of record that is trying to be anything. It is quite simply a collection of what Joshua feels is his best solo work in the past 6 years.

So with "Finally..." as primarily an internet only release being Joshua's first solo record, how can he justify that he is famous? "Fame is such a fleeting thing, if Paris Hilton can be famous for being rich, then I can be famous for being a broke ass musician too" is how Joshua chooses to justify his claim of stardom.

Whether Joshua Jesty is actually famous or not is still up for debate. Really though, it's the music that counts, and you can tell that the while it's taken a long time for this music to see an official release (though it did come out much sooner then the new GnR record) it doesn't take a long time to hear that this music is made for everyone without any ridiculous marketing gimmicks or flashy image in mind. It's just music made to be enjoyed. Finally.

About the Man (who some claim is famous)

Joshua Jesty was born on December 23rd, 1979 (so he was one of those kids who was always told he was getting birthday AND Christmas presents at the same time, which he now realizes was just a ploy to avoid having to buy him more toys at a later date) and grew up in the way the most kids do. Slowly and awkwardly.

While Joshua was given piano lessons at age 6-12 it wasn't until a dream in sixth grade that he realized how much he wanted to be a musician. This realization came when he had a dream where he was playing guitar with an unknown group of people in front of an unknown crowd. When we awoke, he was hooked from then on to pick up a guitar and start playing.

Joshua played and performed with many bands throughout the past several years. Here's a brief and incomplete highlight real

- 1994: first official band that tried to make music was called "Nugget". Nugget gets together a total of 10 times and records a total of 70 songs, mostly about cheese, Gumby, and old farts that drive Subaru's.

- 1997-1998 during Josh's senior year in high school he records 2 records with his band "Remain Standing" as well as a solo record. While notable for the sake of quantity, Josh and Remain Standing have yet to receive Grammies for any of this work. Remain Standing will go on to have 3 farewell shows between 1998 and 1999. They just wanted to make sure they got it out of their systems I guess.

- 1998-2000 Joshua moves to Boston to go to the Berklee School of Music and forms the Boston based "Love Scream". Love Scream will go to release their one and only full length "More Songs About the Reproductive Cycle" and tour a small amount behind it. When Coldplay's manager doesn't offer them Lobsters and Champagne immediately the groups morale dwindles and Josh runs back to Cleveland with his tail between his legs. Since the bands indefinite hiatus the members have all kept in close contact and even reunited a few times to record a song here and there and eat Chinese buffet food together.

-2000-2002 Joshua hastily forms a new band called "The Feel Bads". the first incarnation of the Feel Bads is a four person band that plays songs that Love Scream never got around to recording. Dan Meath of Love Scream joins up with the Feel Bads right about the original line up has had it with wearing doctor scrubs and the group quickly disbands. A few months later Josh reinvents the Feel Bads as a Sketch Comedy troupe that plays songs from time to time. The group features a merchandise girl, a backstage manager, a bitter sequencer and a sock puppet that has no sense of morality. Eventually the group grows to 6 people and an endless amount of stage props before it can sustain itself no longer. Recordings of the sock puppet known as "Senor BJ" can be found here

note: a majority of the recordings featured on "Finally, Joshua Jesty is famous all the hits: volume 15" were recorded in and around the time period of the Feel Bads. So that's why no recordings of these bands are featured here.

-2002-2007: Joshua has the fortune upon stumbling across the fellows who will turn out to be "this is exploding". The band records and EP and a LP, and takes to the road playing over 80 dates in the Midwest and Northeast before their van runs out of steam and there wallets run out of bling. this is exploding is currently trying to find their lost record, but oh man, that sucker is lost.

Currently, Joshua is waiting tables, doing small solo tours in the midwest, dabbling in his zombie record, and working primarily on "Finally, Joshua Jesty is releasing a record with a short name, and the name of the record is "Girl"". He is also the proud guardian of a bunny named Hazel who is cuter then you can ever hope to be. I'm sorry, it's just the way it is.

Lyrics

1. the Masters back

aw yeah, the master's back and he's got a new plan

J-E-S, to the T and Y aw damn

yeah he's gonna lay down the tracks you know

actually you don't cause he just made em' up

yo cowbell, Cowbell, do you got something nice to say?

don't say anything, don't say anything little cowbell get out my way

I'm gonna bust out the trax, and gonna zippity max

I'm gonna hippity dippity and the lipid wax

and the lipid wax

so sit back relax I've got the lipid wax

2. The River Curves

meet me at midnight down by the river

meet me at midnight down by the river

I receive all that you deliver

your body curves just like the river

if I could dive in, the river flowing I don't care where I'm going

oh the burden that you must carry

oh the burden that you must carry

one day soon I hope that you'll be merry

if only I could lick one tributary

washing away under the tides

come up for sunrise

meet me at midnight down by the river

meet me at midnight down by the river

and when you touch me all I do is shiver

your body curves just like the river

3. She Changed (to feel good)

Molly comes home now, so let's tuck it in

hide in the pantry, she won't suspect a thing

no no no, she didn't change her hairstyle

no no no, she didn't smoke when I was with her all that while

she changed to feel good

Molly calls her new fling, she's probably not wondering

what I am doing in her home

no no no, she didn't own a cell

no no no, she never told me her life was hell, while I was there

so you think you've found a way out

Molly makes more promises, she knows she can't keep

I'll leave here and never return as soon as she's asleep

4. Aftertaste

I can not let you in my arms again, cause I don't feel like trying

I would rather lay half awake in bed

I can't handle this, I don't understand, why I'm out of place

you know I got your aftertaste

neither of us really understands, what about us went away

and now I am wide awake

I can't let go of this, who's got control of this, and how long is the wait

I don't even know what I'm going to say, when I get to your front door

but I can't take this silence anymore

we can get through this, unmake what exists, repair our broken space

5. Stephanie

Stephanie, I hate this town without ya

Stephanie, the street lights don't seem so bright

but not as dark as when

the lights are out and you and I are undercover

and we're all about solving that mystery

Stephanie, I make mix CDs to give to you

but I lose them in my car which has some issues

but not as bad as when

Stephanie, I hate this town without ya.

6. Ms. Closed Off

you're closed off, undeniably true

no one seems to understand what you're going through

as if you slipped on mornings dew, and feel off the face of the earth

you might find me a fool, but baby I'll get to you

might seem impossible to do, but baby I'll get to you

I'm determined, undeniably so

no one seems to understand all through which I'll go

and that's what makes us relate, so ms. closed off I'm climbing your gate

7. Make You

I can't have you right now, and that is fine

follow you till clocks lose, track of time

and I'm fallen, and I'm fallen, and I'm falling, for you

as it seems I've fallen, far behind

as it is I'm the one in front, leaving signs

and I'm fallen, and I'm fallen, and I'm falling, for you

I'm gonna make you mine

I can't have you and it doesn't feel fine

one day I'll be crossing, the thin line you're walking

and I've fallen, and I've fallen, and I'm falling, for you

8. the Birthday Song

I saw your wave form, you wore the hell out of that dress and anything that came your way

I saw your dynamic range, you went all up and down the spectrum as if you were some queen

happy birthday to you lady

I felt your heart beat, I know you wouldn't judge the hand of time for doing its job

I missed your birthday, I know I'd never see you like you were again

blow out the candles

this is the first time I've really noticed, how one year can remake you completely

I hope this year does whatever you want it to

wishing you the best, blow out the candles

9. this Town is Quicksand

driving around at night, feels like an advertisement for something else

can I not get this right, or will I just fall asleep and dream of you

and everything else I can not have or control

you don't want what's right you just want what shines the most

can I be that gleam in your, your eye that twinkles oh so bright, can I be that

I'm managing to feel half on and half off

people say I'm like a new creature but all I think about is loss

can you help me take this mask off

you don't want what's right you just want what shines the most

can I be that spark in your

your eye that sees across the town

and thinks about what is so planned

you know this town is quicksand

and I'm sinking

I don't expect you to save me, I just prefer that you claim me

10. If you let me in

pull up to your driveway, out of the car

up to your front door where I'll just stay for awhile

cause if you let me in, I might change my mind

back down your front steps, and past your tulips

I might have helped plant, I can't recall it's been awhile

but if you let me in, if you let me in, I might change my mind

back in the car now, but I can't start it

and I can't end this, at least not for awhile

cause if you let me in, if you let me in, if you let me in

I might change my mind

11. Bad German Techno

Feel the rhythm

yes

feel it

dance

stop

12. Awhile

I saw you on some indescribable day

cause where there were details you stood in the way

something felt different as it flowed through my veins

I don't know what it was and I never will

but if our eyes cross paths I know I'll feel it still

to bad we've got no time to kill

don't just wave goodbye and smile

please take off your coat

and stay awhile

you run through my veins

that's just a little extreme at this time

I just let my thoughts expand till they get out of line

when I start to think I realize that it's just fine

don't just wave goodbye and smile

please take off your coat

I don't know if I will ever find my place

but I could spend a long time in this awkward chase

I've bought a coat rack, just in case

you don't just wave goodbye and smile

you take off your coat

13. Junk your Head

official news, official debt, official break up, official dead pet

official law, official fault, official start tommorow, official never start

junk your head, if it's out of thought and full of lead

you can't even roll out of bed, then you gotta go and junk your head

the sirens in your head, say everything is an emergency

just get that nothing's important here, and you'll achieve complete ecstasy

14. Turf the Lawn

if you wake up and feel good where you are, you don't have to move your car

it can stay in my backyard and turf the lawn

if you wanna lay enwrapped in sheets, all day that'd be fine by me

and if I'm in them as well, I won't mind the snow

and no one has to know, that I will, and no one has to know you that you still

no one has to know

if you wake up and feel a bit bad, I won't make a fuss or get sad, this can stay in the backyard

and bury itself

if you have to get dressed and leave, and never again talk to me, that's alright

cause I was wondering if you'd like to go

you and I moved on, we are not the same

our paths separated sometime back in may

you may never really listen, I might never have anything to say

some things between us will never change

15. Who Am I?

the TV's on, they shot someone

the media, is so much fun

glorify, the shootings

while the sponsers pay for the spots

rock starts die, teen stars age

and people love, what people hate

critics judge, the wrath of god

with two thumbs up or down

who am I?

David Byrne, Cathy Bates

Mussolini, Pearly gates

heaven makes me happy, but is there any good real estate

movie stars, strung out pimps

birth control, abstinence

nothing makes, any sense

and I'm here to figure out why?

identity is everything that's a part of me, to bad I had to go and fall apart

and do it as if it's an art

you are what you eat, you are what you think

you're there when you're not, you are when you sink

16. Monday up in Flames

she slides away, she reaches out when it's to late

she is beautiful

she moves in me, she fears for fun, she drops her guard

she is beautiful

it's just her monday up in flames or really any other day

maybe if some one could just say to her "you're gonna find someone"

she looks for hope, she is her light, it blinds me

she is beautiful

I hear her voice, I feel her breath, she's already left

she is beautiful

17. The One Inside Your Head

you are all I want to see my touch can not with hold itself though you're

under the weather, over the thresh hold and out of my league

you are all I want to know my dictionary bores me so or girl

I can't deny you, no need to refine you, I haven't built you up

if you're breaking I'm your fusion

if you're falling I'm your cushion

you will always have a place in me to rest

you are all I want to steal the crime of the millennium hide you

far from your regrets far from your fears till you can work them out

I have doubts that I can be the one who fulfills all your dreams let's try

trial and error, messing it up, somehow I know it all works out

I'll be the one inside your head, driving you crazy

I'll be the one inside your head, just as you are to me

18. Get to You

I don't think that I am, in love with you

I just like how our eyes meet, from across the room

I am in love, I am in love, I am love

with figuring out

how to get to you

if I achieve my goal, or if I fail

I wouldn't have much left, to do, you see

forgive me for playing the part, of the one who messed with your heart

19. that's when She Smiles

I had this dream where you got naked at christmas time

and you wrapped yourself around my christmas tree

you looked like the most beautiful ornament that's what you said to me

nothing feels good when it's all out of style

just when I hit rock bottom that's when she smiles

everything's not going that well, I think you know

my prayer each day ends with "please reality don't swallow me whole"

I've been trying to figure out where I should be all this while

I've been fighting with myself to get it right all this while

20. Bump

misplaced your number, guess I'm not meant to call

been inside for a week, haven't heard from anyone at all

I'm just searching, for an inkling

think I just had a feeling, think I just had a feeling

I wanna feel the way lovers do, when I bump into you, on accident

I wanna feel the way lovers do

could've spent the whole day doing nothing, but I might never know

cause I keep thinking of all the ways I told you so, I told you so

something sparks, something moves, maybe there's a small part in you that approves

I'm just searching for an inkling

think I just had a feeling, think I just had a feeling

if we feel the way lovers do, it will be no accident when I bump into you

21. Goodnight in E Major

(instrumental, thanks for listening)

Stories behind the music

1. the Masters Back

(all mouth noises by Joshua)

this was a test recording I made to check if the new hard drive I had installed worked. My prior drive in the middle of recording 5 songs that may never surface decided to stop working and become inaccessible, making all the files impossible to retrieve. I was bummed, so upon installing the new drive I made a little all vocal rap thing. After I had recorded a bundle of songs I came back to this and laid the final rap over it with the cowbell and all, cause the first rap was about how the hard drive was going to "be my bitch" (which if you listen closely is you can hear at the end of the track, and that's about as vulgar as this record gets).

2. the River Curves

(drums: Dan Meath bass: Dave Patterson keyboard: Jessica Stewart guitars, vocals, noises: Joshua)

I was actually going to the bathroom when this song popped into my head. I had been having a renaissance of sorts with song writing and ideas were starting to pop up at some pretty inopportune times. I finished my business and ran back into my room and started recording immediately. This was one of those times when almost every part of the song just came to me clearly and uninterrupted. Within a few hours I had a demo of the song with a drum machine and about a month later I was able to get the feel bads to make a studio recording of it. I really enjoy the mental images this song creates when I listen to it. Something so ghostly and sinister seems to be brewing in this song, but really it's just the desire that wanting brings.

3. She Changed (to feel good)

(drums: Matt Lee bass, guitar, effects, cymbal, vocals, slide guitar: Joshua)

One night while hanging with some friends a thought popped into my head "have a bunch of drum machine loops running all at once". That's as far as the thought went, but I really wanted to try it. It was in the first month of having my new recording studio set up that had so many more capabilities then my old 4 track. I had started to record a few songs for Evan's band who Matt Lee was drumming for at the time, and Matt Lee had laid down a drum track that we hadn't used. I took 8 bars of the track and looped it, ran it through all kinds of filters and made a big mess of it. For some reason, listening to that looped drum track really inspired me, and I picked up a guitar and laid down a chord progression, and then the next instrument came out and was tracked, and on and on and on until about 14 hours later I had this song. Lyrically speaking this was about one of three songs about stalking someone I wrote in a short period of time. It wasn't so much that I wanted to stalk anyone as it was the idea that could still be a part of someone's life through viewing them without them being aware that appealed to me. this character in "she changed" gets into the house and manages to see all the changes that "Molly" has gone through and realizes that she's no longer the same, and therefore she is no longer a part of him, which throws him through an emotional loop, all the while this is going on he's still in her house, which I think fits well with the tension of the song. I guess it's a stalker song with a moral to it. who knew? Maybe it'll be a good children's book in the future. Especially if the kid is sleeping in Girls Gone Wild Pajamas.

4. Aftertaste

(Drums: Dan Price Bass: Evan Wilhelms Guitar, Vocals: Joshua)

this song was written quickly before a this is exploding practice. I made a really rough demo of it and showed it to the band but got no interest from them, so I recorded it myself 6 months later, and it sounded bad, so I had Dan and Evan come in and record it with me one day. to make the song take even longer to see the light of day, my computer started to flip out so I moved the song onto a portable drive and then forgot about it for some time. Thinking that it had been deleted I pretty much gave up on the idea of it ever existing until I stumbled upon the drive and found it, touched it up, and remixed it so that it finally materialized into a recording I was proud of. So that one only took 2 and half years.

5. Stephanie

(Vocal and Guitar: Joshua)

given that this collection is about 6 years in the running but you get to hear it all at once it's hard to present a decent time line for it all, but this is one of the more recent songs I've written and it was one of the first I had written in awhile. I do get in these writer funks from time to time that can last for awhile, nothing about the guitar seems appealing, I feel like I've already done everything I can with it and there's no more music I can write that's worthwhile. Then I'll be in a practice space and just write something like this in 3 minutes and I feel reborn as a songwriter. Admittedly I did write this song at first by saying "you have to write something now" but after giving up on "trying" to write a song, some casual strumming of the guitar brought me about to singing the first line of the song, and before I knew it, I couldn't write the words down fast enough. It's always simple songs like these that have the most appeal, they just hit you out of left field and before you know it, you've put down something that is expressing exactly how you feel at that moment, yet open enough to interpretation for anyone to hear it as they see fit. I've mostly put songs like that on this record.

6. Ms. Closed Off

(Drums: Dan Meath Guitar, Vocals, Bass, Drum Machine: Joshua)

there was this lady I was hanging out with at one point in time who I just couldn't get to open up. You'd think for all the hanging out that we did that she'd just show me a little bit of her character, but I couldn't even get a vague impression of her. I couldn't understand why either. That's where this song comes from. Shortly after writing it we lost touch with each other. I can't recall the recording of this to clearly. By that I mean, I can only guess that Dan Meath laid drums down to this song right after the first incarnation of the feel bads disbanded and before the second started, or else I was just in a real hurry to get the song done and therefore played everything else on the recording. I really liked this song and forgot about it for sometime. This was one of the few songs I really "George Lucasafied" by adding a lot of new stuff to for this release. I added background vocals, a new drum machine, and an extra guitar part, most of which was stuff that Evan and Matt added to this song when they played it live with me a few times, so mad props to them.

7. Make You

(Guitars, Noises, Mattress, Pens, Vocals: Joshua)

yet another darker toned song. all created with the magic of sleep deprivation and a really really beat up guitar. I mean, this guitar had 4 strings on it, a volume know that wouldn't work, and was severely out of tune. It was so out of tune, that I just left it that way and started plunking away on it. One weird sound led to another, and the mood of the instruments led me to pen another song based on the feeling of want without the ability to have. after recording the vocals, I knew there needed to be some percussion, but it was late at night and I couldn't be hitting drums, so I just started putting microphones up really close to things like plates and my mattress and dousing the sounds in effects. Good times really, but if anyone would've walked in on me and seen me hitting my mattress with the half awake glance I was holding, I would've been dragged off to the looney bin.

8. the Birthday Song

(Cello: Patricia Conrad Drums, Guitar, Bass, Piano, Vocals: Joshua)

this is the first song I wrote upon my return from Boston. I felt so heartbroken at that point. If ever was a time that I was a poster boy for emo, it would've been then. I was looking at things through a half empty glass, and so with that view point I started recording a slow acoustic number that gradually evolved into "the birthday song". It seemed to fit with everything I was feeling bad about the loss of, my relationship, my band, my sense of direction. About a year later I re-recorded the whole song at a slower tempo and invited one of my good friends room mates over to my house to play Cello on the track. that would be Patricia Conrad. She heard the song, I played her a part that I suggested and she nailed that and added the orchestration on at the end. She asked me for a copy of it and like a bad person I never got one to her. I hope she gets it now. This is easily the most orchestral thing I've done.

9. This Town is Quicksand

(Drums, Drum Machine, Bass, Guitars, Vocals: Joshua)

It has come to my attention that the law of recording goes as follows. You make a recording, you decide it's done and you package it and release it to the world. Once it's out of your hands the next few songs you will write will make you wish you'd just held on for awhile because these songs should've been on the record you just put out. That's what has happened with pretty much every band I've been in that's released a record. Fortunately for my solo efforts, I procrastinated enough that when I sat down one day and banged this song out I knew I had the ability to make it a part of the record before it was to late. The third chorus is my favorite part of the song and I've listened to it more then someone should admit to listening to anything they've recorded. It's worth nothing that the two thoughts running through my head while I was recording this were "this sounds like really good driving music to me" and "let's not bother to write any lyrics, let's just say whatever comes to your mind".

10. If you let me in

(Vocals, Percussion: Joshua)

when I first started showing around my solo recordings to friends and family, one of my friends said "you should make a song that has no other instrumentation on it so you can focus on your voice". Of course, I think in his own polite way he was saying "learn how to sing" but I still thought it was an interesting idea, but I had no idea of where to go with it. fast forward to 3 years later, I'm going to the grocery store and I start tapping on the steering wheel and a little melody pops into my head. The words start coming to me and I sing them and and over just to remember them. I finally write the lyrics down over the grocery list with a sharpie which completely makes the grocery list illegible. Bad grocery shopping strategy? yes. Good way to know you're onto something song wise? uh huh. I've ended the few solo sets that I play with this song, and seems to have a good finality to it.

11. Bad German Techno

(Keys, Drum Machine, German Yelps: Joshua)

a quick dance song I made as a joke for one of the early feel bads shows. I had to include it on here because this song has become a hit of sorts as it's received the most airplay of any of the songs on this collection easily. Apparently, a college radio show devoted to underground dance music got a kick out of playing this song for a time. I bumped into the DJ a few years after recording this and he told me that he'd been playing the track on and off for quite some time. I hope this blows up in Europe so I can get Paul Oakenfeld to Remix it, call it Badder German Techno.

12. Awhile

(Drums: Dan Meath Bass, Background Vocals: Evan Wilhelms Guitars, Keyboards, noises, Vocals: Joshua)

I wrote this song after playing a show with the Feel Bads very quickly and very quietly in my bedroom. So much for an after party, I know, but I really like this song. I had the middle section sitting around for some time and had jammed on it with a few of my band mates from Love Scream even. However, that night after the show I was filled with an energy that I couldn't explain until I found out later that my girlfriend to be was in the crowd that night, and while I know that sounds like some crazy excuse since she wasn't my girlfriend at the time, I think I honestly just honed in on her energy (yeah I know I'm sounding like a crazy hippie, but deal with it).

13. Junk Your Head

(Keyboards: Brian Hill Drums, Guitars, Bass, Vocals: Joshua)

about a week after finishing this is exploding's first full length "Until the Next Red Light" we took a week off. During that week I committed to myself that I would make a record for fun, since the recording process of "UTNRL" had been very rough. I invited over friends and mostly just made short little songs that were fun, this is one of them. The chorus for the song came to me while I was jogging and I had to pick up the pace to get home. Upon my arrival I just dove into the writing and then immediate recording of this song. Brian stopped over one day and played some keyboards on this song, and while they're in there, I couldn't really mix them where I wanted to due to my maxing out of the processing capability on my computer. None the less, this song suffered the same fate as "Aftertaste" and I had put it on a portable drive and misplaced it. a month prior to putting this record together I heard the mix I had made of this song and figured that it was to poorly recorded to fit on this record. Once I discovered the drive and started remixing the song however, it started to come to life and become this bigger bright pop song that was hidden under a muddy careless mix for a few years.

14. Turf the Lawn

(Drums: Dan Meath Bass, Background Vocals: Evan Wilhelms Guitar, Keyboards: Matt Lee Guitar, Vocals, Keyboards, Drum Machine: Joshua)

When Love Scream seemed like it was reaching its end, I couldn't take it anymore. I took a bus from Boston to Cleveland to clear my head and get away from what felt a like a dream falling apart. in the week away from Boston, I did clear my head, and all of the sudden new songs started to flow out of me. I recorded 4 track demos of 5 new songs all in a week. Were they Love Scream songs? were they songs that would be good as a side project? I didn't know. All I knew is that they had the renewed creativity and passion in them that I thought had attracted the other members of Love Scream to work with me in the first place. I took the bus back and played the songs eagerly to each one of them, seeing if these new songs would light them back up, get things rolling again. In the end it didn't, and I was left with a pile of songs that sounded like Love Scream songs, without a the band to record them. This is one of my favorite solo songs, I can't fully explain why, I just love the chord progression and the chorus. It was really cool to have Dan Meath (from Love Scream) record drums on this as well as several other tracks and really, Evan is most likely the only Love Scream fan out there, so to have him playing on these songs as well helped to make them sound as close to a second Love Scream record as we'll ever get (I guess who knows, there might be another Love Scream recording at some point, we can never say never, but we certainly can't book a date right now either).

15. Who am I?

(Drums: Dan Meath Vocals, Guitar, Bass, Keyboards: Joshua)

this was just me going crazy with keyboards one day. I actually recorded this whole song in one day with myself playing drums and then put it to bed. I played it for Meath when he was visiting and he insisted that he play drums on the track. Of course I welcomed that as my drumming is just not nearly as good. Dan set up his drums and nailed the thing in one take. I really think he brought out the power in this song and for all the simple things going on in this song musically, I think it all adds up to quite an emotion of confusion.

16. Monday up in Flames

(Drums, Guitar, Bass, Vocals, Percussion: Joshua)

this was one of the first songs I recorded during a short lived period of writing I call the "looping experiment". Of course I had looped things before, but I had consciously known what I was doing with those loops. In this experiment I would record 3 different drum parts at 4-8 bars each without any preconceived idea of melody or structure and then copy and paste the different parts where I saw fit. I recorded about 20 different drum parts like this and then picked these parts and made a song in an evening. I wasn't able to make to many songs using this looping technique, but it was a fun experiment to try. Sometimes setting up rules or boundaries can bring about unique forms of songwriting. As far as the over all message of the song, even though its sung as if it's directed to a woman, its meant as a message to everyone who doesn't value themselves enough. There's an awful lot of people that are worth so much more then they give themselves credit for. I see it in a lot of people, yet I'm optimistic that we'll all figure out how to get out of our funks, and how to find where we fit.

17. the One Inside your Head

(Drums, Percussion: Chris Lee Background Vocals: Alicia Boscerello Bass, Guitar, Drum programming: Joshua)

this was a little bit of tomfoolery that manifested itself into a song. The story goes like this; I had a friend over named Alicia to help me record some female vocals for another song I was working on at the time. At the very end of the session she asked about Vocoders and Pitch Correction software and if it really worked. So to demonstrate I made her sing something random and then I added this vocoder to her voice and changed the key that she was singing in completely. It sounded pretty silly and robotic and we laughed about it and she took off. The next day I looked at the track again and added a drum beat underneath it and found something very inspiring in her looped, pitch modulated vocal and the little drum pattern I had made. Eventually I found myself laying down guitars, bass and vocals and calling up my old pal Chris Lee (who is related to Matt Lee for those of you paying close attention to the performer credits) to lay down some good ole' acoustic drums to the mix. Two points on this recording that make me very happy are that A. this whole song evolved from a very small vocal loop that was incredibly random and I'm very grateful that I could hear a song within that little bar of singing and B. that it starts and ends with genuine laughter.

18. Get to You

(Guitar, Vocals: Joshua)

another song written very quickly while at the rehearsal space waiting for this is exploding to show up. I was watching some guys look around at a bar but not take any action. So I assumed the character of one of them and took it from there. Is this character just scared to death of rejection, or is he a bit twisted.... you be the Judge!

19. That's when She Smiles

(Drums, Bass, Guitar, Vocals, Slide Guitar: Joshua)

Finally, I'm going country! the first verse is about a real dream I had, and the second verse is about my state of mind at the time. I should note that the instrument that sounds like a keyboard or a droning something or other that appears on a few of these other songs, is actually just a guitar run through a really cheap alesis reverb unit I got a long time ago. It creates such as nice sound when the signal is over saturated that I like to use it a lot in my recordings. Its the best $80 I've ever spent on an effect in my life. This is such a simple song, and like most of these listed, it really just fell into my lap, I started recording it and it just kept materializing until it was a complete idea. I enjoy the feel of this song, and it does of course point out that obvious fact of life, you have to hit rock bottom before you can start to go upwards sometimes.

20. Bump

(Drum Machine, Guitar, Vocals: Joshua)

one night I was feeling very inspired to record, so I decided to try and record a whole record in one night. I had the title set, it was called "Love Songs for an Empty Room" and I started playing acoustic guitar and singing whatever came to mind. I wrote one sloppy song, I wrote a second sloppy song, I wrote a less sloppy and pretty decent song, and then after writing and recording these three songs on an acoustic guitar with vocals I decided to put the guitar down and play with my old ass drum machine. Of course, this song just naturally materialized, but I don't really remember writing it, I just kept playing and playing and eventually it felt done, and it was 4:00am so I went to sleep. After work the next day I came home and listened to it, and I heard a song that I had been eager to hear for quite some time. It had that sense of isolation, of sadness, but also, of hope. Something was around the corner, something really good, many things really good, and I'd know when I found it, there would be no question. I ended up re tracking the vocals to this song, and it was the last thing I did to complete this record. "Bump" is quite possibly one of the oldest recordings to appear on this record, and it holds up. Sure things are shitty at times, but there is hope, there is another chance to make things right.

21. Goodnight in E Major

(Guitar: Joshua)

a simple farewell.

Reviews

the following are reviews from friends and fans. A lot of these are comments from my myspace page. A few a reviews written and sent to me via email. I don't edit these, so any spelling mistakes in this section are the fault of the reviewers. I have edited some things, but never do I alter the review, and usually I just add a link to the reviewers website cause that's how I roll. You can feel free to add a review by commenting on my myspace page or emailing me at joshua@thisisexploding.com . I sure do appreciate the reviews as every one of them that's not written by myself sure makes me feel more legit.

- you are the king of choruses my friend. like if there was a reality show where every week they gave 16 strangers a short phrase and said 'here, turn these 3 words into a catchy and interesting chorus' you would win the immunity necklace every week. seriously. it's amazing. i wish i could wi-fi into your head and hear music like you do. keep up the good work.

mef


review from michael flynn

- I can't quite decide which track is my favorite--it's between "The River Curves" and "the One Inside Your Head". "River" has a great arrangement and vocal melody, and of course the lyrics are fantastic. Love the drums and guitar on "Inside Your Head," too.

- sounding great my brother! peace and blessings :) www.myspace.com/williamfitzsimmons

-grade a ohio bacon if i do say so myself, and i will say so, myself, self? www.brianmarquis.com/

-I'm falling in love with your gigantic album... www.annierock.com

-DUDE!!!! This rules hard. You are an amazing song writer www.myspace.com/thesilentyears

-Dude. I listened to yer rekkit on me headphones last night....The River Curves is still the baddest song you've written....Aftertaste is great too....I'd like to give it few more listens.....FEEL THE RHYTHM! www.myspace.com/jkaler

-wow, that was awesome of you to put your cd online so that we could all have instant download satisfaction!
and here I didn't think I'd be able to hear any bad German techno tonight! I was VERY wrong, that's for sure!!!!!! www.myspace.com/snugglepooh

-I can't explain it. I don't know why. And I can't praise you enough for your fantastic gift. I've just scratched the surface of your solo music as I down-loaded one... then another... then the entire thing - because I really want to evaluate it, a la car stereo... It really is true Art. This is the kind of music I pour over; and I have some intellectual friends that will pour over this, too. I mean - there should be some kind of government grant for the things you create. And we're not talking the same radio-friendly shit that Berklee advocates, but an extension of your personality and a record of culture... true Art. Funny, I still listen to More Songs... AND Made of Gold (can't really call that an album, can we? though it was the first musical experience I was ever proud to have been a part of). I even whipped out the original recording of "Personal Space"... Yeah, I still have the DAT (Note: the following recordings mentioned were Love Scream recordings as Christian produced a bunch of demos and an early record for us).

So, I just sat and read your entire website as I bounced from track to track. I don't know if you realized that my website is very similar to your's. I have the same kind of setup -lyrics and descriptions for all of my older songs. (Haven't had time on the new stuff, 'cause I'm still recording it). I even have a "Birthday Song"!! Although it's much more upbeat, it did stem from a rather crummy birthday... (www.swbrecords.com - in case you're curious)

I don't know - maybe I'm going over the top just a bit, because it's the witching hour and I'm super emo and creative or whatever, but I want you to know that the word "genius" comes to mind... and I cannot in good moral whatever listen to this music without sending you money (aside: I know all of you are feeling this). So when I get my fat ass a PayPal account, which I need to do this week, in fact, expect a fair royalty.

Keep doing your thing. And let me know when you've done some more... www.myspace.com/joezero

F.A.Q's

feel free to email me any questions you have to (joshua@thisisexploding.com) . I'll post them here as well. It'll be fun and interactive like the internet is supposed to be!

1. In putting your songs up for free download, are we to assume that you don't see value in them?

No, I actually see a lot of value in these songs, I like them a lot. However, I don't have the means to mass produce, distribute, and promote them. Nor do I have any labels knocking at my door to do so. However, if you're a label, say hi. I do hope that donations come in through paypal, my po box, and through the spreading of the website link. I've been a waiter for some time now, and while I know that not everyone is a good tipper, there are a lot of people who when they feel they've been given good service will tip accordingly. that's how I view this. You tell me what you think it's worth, I don't have the means to tell you what its worth and get my way at this point.

2. Does that mean you see your music as a type of food?

music is nourishing, but I don't see my music as something you can physically eat.

3. Don't you think put this music up is a way of Selling Out?

hmm. good one. I suppose the second you give your music out to be interpreted by other ears you are selling out in some form. Cause your interpretation of what the song means is going to be different from someone else's. Once you release the music out for the publics consumption, you're giving it permission to be molded into whatever the audiences interpretation of it is. The only way to avoid selling out is to keep all your music locked in a lock box till your dead.

4. I don't care about your solo record, when is the next this is exploding record coming out?

Go to our myspace and read the blog entitled "Reality and Fiction are mostly the same". The Short answer is, I don't think you'll be seeing a second this is exploding record for some time. I wish I could make that a reality but we're just not in the same place right now musically speaking, never say never, but don't count on it for the time being.

www.thisisexploding.com

www.myspace.com/thisisexploding

5. Does this solo release mean that you're less committed to this is exploding?

No. I just really felt that I had to release some of the this solo material now, I can't really explain it, I just had enough free time and the idea was beating against my door for some time now. The opportunity was there and I took it. Which is something I'm trying to do more these days, take the opportunities that come my way. Now that this is exploding is on a long term hiatus I will be focusing a lot on my solo material from here on out. But don't go getting any thoughts that my solo music was the yoko of this is exploding. It came from a lot of different elements and we ended pretty amicably all things considered.

6. How can I find more information about this band Love Scream?

Love Scream doesn't have much of a web presence, but there is of course a myspace page and a cdbaby page where you can purchase our one and only full length. The Myspace page features a few rare live and studio recordings.

www.myspace.com/lovescream

www.cdbaby.com/lovescream

7. How can I find out more information on the Feel Bads?

think of sketch comedy that's better then anything MAD TV ever did, but not as good as SNL during Will Ferrell's Tenure mixed with a bunch of my solo songs in it. A lot of which is featured on this recording. that's a quick summary. Other then that there's no web information that I know of, though at one point we did have an insanely clever website that would've won critical praise and the kind of loyal fan base homestar runner has if we had started only a few years later. What can I say, ahead of our time by about 30 years.

8. Your Bunny is Cute, can I come over and pet him?

well, yes he is cute, but most likely if you came by he would destroy you. Or run away. He's stealthy like that.

9. He? didn't you say his name was Hazel? that's a girls Name!

no, it's the name of the lead Male character from Richard Adam's classic "Watership Down".

10. How can I become as famous as you are?

be polite. If you want to learn something, ask someone who knows the answer and then listen. If you're anti-social, use the internet as a learning tool. Once you've learned about your craft, shamelessly and recklessly promote it. Make sure you walk over everyone in the process to show that you're at the top and that you've pushed all others down. I'm kidding. Don't do any of that, save for be polite, that one does go a long way. Go make a lot of mistakes. Have fun. Don't do anything that doesn't sound right if you add "thus saith the lord" to the end of it. For example, "I'm going to kill a bunch of animals with my bare hands and then rape all the women in Illinois thus saith the lord".... you see, it doesn't work, and therefore you shouldn't do it. Keep working, keep working, avoid doubt as much as possible but have just a little in you so that you've got something to fight against. Eventually you'll be as famous as I am currently. Asking people if they want more fries and cleaning up rabbit poo. I am telling you, Tony Bennet got nothing on me.

11. give me something quote worthy that you've said since the beginning of 2007, pretty please?

"Hamburger Helper is not the best foundation with which to propose upon"

Got a Question for Josh? email him